Send / Receive

Tap, tap, tap..... when will the message get here? I live in an impatient world. I have expectations of texts and emails being immediately answered - especially now that I have an "all inclusive" iphone. I find myself tapping on phone button embarrassingly often to see if anything new has arrived, as though I'm 5 years old anxiously awaiting Christmas morning. I think my little boy (who is ONLY 5 months old) has even picked up on the notion that when I have the phone in my hand, I am not paying focused attention to him. And, while he cannot speak in English yet, he does in no uncertain terms let me know that this is not OK with him.

I think the truth is that I'm addicted to immediate gratification. Or maybe it's immediate escapism. Ugh! How humbling!

Is this because I feel lonely and am seeking connection? Is it boredom? Or am I simply addicted to distraction? I don't even need a computer these days.... my phone contains everything I need- Facebook, Google, email, the weather, games, text messaging and more. On one hand I think - wow, this is fantastic I have all that I need at my fingertips. And on another I think things were more relaxed and simpler when I didn't have all these options. It's ironic that people pay top dollar to get away to resorts that have no t.v.'s, radios or computers ..... do I/we have to pay to not be distracted and catch a break?

In the time I've written this blog post, I've looked at my phone, which continues to receive messages, at least 10 times. It appears that I need to find a new strategy to temporarily part ways with my beloved phone if I want to really practice being present to the NOW. While my phone gives me continual connection to my world around me, it also pulls me away from being here NOW. Things like feeling my body, noticing how shallow my breath is or how the trees outside are moving slightly..... or how the two men sitting in the corner of this Starbucks are having conversation with each other while on their own respective phone calls. It's all random and yet so wonderfully unique and often amusing. It's easy to miss it when I'm tapping my phone to see what messages await me. I think the messages can wait. I think returning the calls can wait. They all have their time and place..... it's not ALL the time. It WILL BE SOMETIMES.

There will always be calls to make, texts to receive and emails to send .... THIS moment will only happen ONCE. It's always my choice. As it is yours.


Signing off so I can be present ; )
Nikki